Metal Man Has Won His Wings

Album: Mystery Disc
So, apparently this little "jam jive" (yes, I did just make that word up) was recorded back in '64. It's got Captain Beefheart on vocals. He just reads from a comic book advertisement, usually reciting just two words at a time. Sounds pretty cool for using "found lyrics". The song sounds just like the beginning of "Brown Shoes Don't Make It", they just jam it out for a bit, Frank plays a solo, everybody's happy. Aren't you happy now that you just read this. Let's get in our car's and drive happily down the road, beeping our horns, while listening to this song. I'll see you on the freeway.

Weasels RIpped My Flesh

Album: Weasels Ripped My Flesh
Damn, how do I describe this one. For the first minute and a half all you hear is this constant sound. It sounds like metal being ground up and torn and thrown around all within a giant wind tunnel being rained down upon by a shower of sparks. You can't really make out the individual instruments, they all mush together to form this collective creature. As it rings out for the finish you can hear a cool Moog patch. Next, Zappa says, "Goodnight boys and girls." There is a pause of about two seconds by the audience until they start applauding. The cheers start growing and you begin to hear people whistle and call out, "More!". "Thank you for coming to our concert".

Strictly Genteel

Album: YCDTOSA Vol. 6
The YCDTOSA series are a collection of live performances wrapped up in six volumes of double albums. This song was performed on Halloween in 1981 in New York. As the name of the song implies, it is "marked by refinement". The song has a feeling of being grandiose and rather pompous, as if it is saying, "Hey everybody! Look how great I am up here on this marble pedestal. Take notice everyone, bask in my aura." It contains a plethora of those 80's sounding keyboards which I'm not too wild about. The song is in 3/4 but doesn't contain much of that waltzy feeling. At nearly seven minutes long, there is no soloing. It is all composed with Zappa-like complexity. Towards the end I notice a few measure long licks which sound familiar but hell if I can remember which songs they're from. There is one little part which is taken from an old Hawaiian Punch commercial, "Really go Hawaiian". All in all it's a fairly impressive song, mainly from the standpoint of composition. It doesn't really get my blood flowing due to it's energy. "Thanks for coming to the show tonight. Hope you enjoyed it. Don't throw stuff on the stage."

The Gumbo Variations

Album: Hot Rats
I've been having trouble with deciding what kind of style I should write my findings in. I wrote the others like I would write if I were writing for an audience. Well, FUCK YOU! This isn't for you, it's for me. So from this point on, it's my mission to be as selfish as possible. If you feel abandoned, then I'm doing my fucking job. With that out of the way, I can continue. So, I've heard this album more than any other album I own with the possible exception of Dark Side of the Moon. How do I go about "figuring out" a song when I already know it so well? I imagine it would look something like this.
Don't fuck around with this song. If you don't have sixteen minutes of energy to rock out with, then you should go now because this song will only bring you down. First, we've got Ian Fucking Underwood on sax for a rip roaring solo that sounds like a dying goose that's determined to leave this existence with as much attitude as he can spew. Right from the start, he's all waving his duck tail around, strutting around. He knows he's better than you and he's not afraid how shitty that makes you feel. Unlike most solos, he shoots his load in the middle, which allows for a subtle transition into Sugarcane Harris's violin solo. Don't let anybody ever tell you the violin is a classical instrument, there are only classical musicians. The whole band does an excellent job of matching his energy, which helps compensate for his lack of "lets make it a lot louder at this part" distortion pedals. Another elusive transition into Zappa's solo, hell, if you didn't bring your sixteen minutes of energy like I told you to bring, you could easily miss it. A few minutes into his solo, theres a fucking great breakdown, which leaves the drums for a few bars until adding the bass for a few more. The breakdown then moves into this really great buildup which eventually ends the song. I've got mention two more little things which I love. One is the "motorboat" sound @ 16:06 by the organ player. I've also gotta mention the bass. There are so many little transitions and flourishes throughout the whole song. He manages to stay locked in with the drummer without having to sound boring. Excellent musicianship by everybody.

He's So Gay

Album: Thing-Fish
The album Thing-Fish, is the soundtrack for a Broadway show Zappa wanted to do. The song starts off with some synthesized drum sounds. I'm not quite sure how they were made, but most of the music in this song appears to made by a synthesizer of some kind. It has that 80's "cheepnis" to it. Everything revolves around the vocal harmonies, which are are fairly doo-woppy. I don't have a lot to say about this song, I wouldn't really say I like it that much. It definitely has Broadway influences in it, which may be why I'm not too thrilled about it. I do appreciate the lewd humor, however. "Of course his evening's not complete without some meat in the seat."

Cheap Thrills

Album: Cruising With Ruben and The Jets
The opening song on Frank's Doo-Wop album, this song is about as simple of a song you'll ever hear. The intro contains some great vocal harmonies. There aren't any real changes once it starts up. It just looks straight ahead the whole time, with no sign of slowing. The piano part consists of eighth notes the whole way through. The drums are fairly straight forward, although I find the kick to have a nice groove to it. The acoustic bass part is great, providing a nice balance to the simplicity of everything else. This song does a perfect job of creating a simple rhythm with very catchy lyrics. If it weren't for some of the lyrics, it would be easy to pass this off as one of those chart-toppers from the 50's by some forgotten band. "Cheap thrills, all over the seat. Cheap thrills, you're kind of loving can't be beat."

On The Bus

Album: Joe's Garage
Joe's Garage is a Rock Opera. In order to better understand this song, we must first understand it's place in the story. The previous song is about a Wet T-Shirt contest in which this girl, Mary, enters and wins. Mary is also a crew slut, meaning she "pleases" all the guys while they tour around on their bus. "On The Bus" is primarily a guitar solo. I imagine the solo "narrates" the activities which Mary performs on the bus for all the guys in the crew. I love Zappa's ability to perform guitar solos which are completely unpredictable. He also shows a lot of patience while still managing to cram a ton of notes into a small amount of space. The rhythm section sits nicely in the background. I like the way they accent the 1 and the 4, providing a nice lift between measures. I don't know if "lift" is the best word to describe it. It's more of a stall. The 1 starts with a downhill rush, while the 4 brings us back up, resting at zero G's for a moment, only rush back downhill on the 1 again. At 2:40, theres a great little part in 9/8. Don't have much to say other than I love it, and quite catchy despite it's odd time signature. The last ten seconds of the song provide the intro into the next song. Amazing intro. It immediately shifts out of intense guitar into a much slower swing feel, proving a sort of laid-back buildup.